My friend Terry (DressedtoaT.blog) gifted me a box of “Affirmators At Work – 50 Affirmation Cards to Help You Help Yourself – without the Self-Helpy-Ness!”
And Ironic – as if there are ever any coincidences – that today I pulled this card:
It comes at a time when I have been challenged to indeed choose my battles, and when it would be easy to pile on and join in on the “Oh, and another thing…” game.
It is ironic, too, in that last week I sat on a panel of peers, where we were answering “rapid fire” random questions to help the audience learn a bit more about us. One question asked was: “What Causes You Misery?” My answer, after of course, “BEING LATE!” was “Getting stuck in a constant state of complaining. I have tried to live by this with my children, and in our family, that when you have something upsetting to get off your chest, by all means, GET IT OFF YOUR CHEST! This is a safe place, and you need to dump it. HOWEVER, you get to do that ONE TIME. IF you are going to bring up the same conversation/issue/challenge/complaint after that initial “dump” then you best be bringing it up in hopes of finding a solution.”
It has evidently hit a nerve with some that I work with as several conversations this week have started with “I know you don’t like when we complain” or “I know you are tired of all of the bitching …”
Which made me feel that my point wasn’t quite understood the way I meant it, or that I simply didn’t communicate it well. So, here it is with a bit more detail:
I don’t mind hearing complaints. I want people to feel safe with me, and that they can share their thoughts/concerns, etc. And in fact, I quite like being able to help people when they are ready to move on from their challenge, and find a way back to the light … I do NOT, however, enjoy hearing it time and time again from someone (anyone!) who just wants to complain and doesn’t want to move out of that space. I do not also want to spend endless amounts of time talking about the “little stuff”, or the “oh and another thing” which waters down the bigger stuff.
We all have battles to fight, and usually some pretty important ones. And, if you personally aren’t going through something dreadful at the moment, I bet you know someone who is. It is because of that “respect for the BIG STUFF”, that I don’t love nit-picking, or actively looking for things that are unpleasant. I am – go ahead, call me Pollyana, I’m used to it – looking for the silver lining. I am in general, a positive person. And I believe with all of my heart that “Thoughts Become Things”, “What You Think About, You Bring About”, and that “Your Word Is Your Wand.”
Don’t get me wrong – I’ll fight the battle! I’ll get in there and bitch with the best of them. I just like to save my bitter, jaded misanthropic vitriol for the stuff that really earns it. I guess I could have spared you this entire blog, and just posted a picture of the AFFIRMATOR Card. Ah, but what fun would that be?
You Heard the Lady,
p.s. By all means, if you ever catch me being contrary to my word, I would hope you would call me on it. In fact, I’d expect nothing less.