The word “hangry” is not in the dictionary. I know, because as one who suffers from this affliction, I am somewhat surprised that we now have a name for what used to be known as “low blood sugar.”
(Author’s note: Before anyone else decides to chime in here, I already realize that those around me during an unfortunate hangry episode would argue that they are, in fact, the ones who suffer.)
As an example: Tim first experienced this when we were dating only a few short months. I remember telling my daughter, who was 17 at the time, “Well, Tim got to see hungry Tracy this weekend” her response was a palm to the forehead and exasperated “OH NO! Is he still with us?”
(Author’s note two: To be clear, she was not asking if I killed him, merely if he had decided I was not in fact as adorable as he once thought. He was – thank heavens – still with us.)
For those of you who have maybe only heard of this phenomenon, but have not experienced it first hand, let me try to explain. (By the way, in trying to explain it to a colleague once, she compassionately replied “I used to get like that too. WHEN I was TWELVE!”) Sigh. So here’s a glimpse:
I spend a lot of time in conversation. It’s what I do for a living. And as you might have noticed in my very first post, I suppose it’s just a part of who I am. I may not even realize that I’m hungry, or that perhaps it might be time to eat, but when I start to hear a steady stream of “ummmmms” coming out of my mouth, and I can’t seem to string a sentence together properly, I realize it’s the onset. DEFCON 1.
If I’m alone, I’ll grab something to nibble on. No problem. Crisis averted.
It’s when I’m with others that this can become a problem. Why, you ask? Well, when I’m with others, it’s not as simple as grabbing a bite. It might require a conversation, some preparation, some altered plans. All of which takes time. Precious time, I might add, as the clock begins ticking at that first “ummmmm.”
I try to issue a simple request (read: WARNING) “We should probably make our way to some food, soon.” (read: WHY ARE YOU JUST STANDING THERE?)
IF for some reason, there is nothing close at hand, we experience a delay or have not gotten some type of food in the pie hole before we reach DEFCON 5, well, it simply is.not.pretty.
Enraged for no apparent reason. Check and Check!
Head spinning around 360 degrees. Well it hasn’t happened yet, but I fear it came close a time or two.
Then comes the most ironic piece of this puzzle: Once the peak has been reached, absolutely NOTHING looks good. At the very moment where all I need is ANYTHING to eat. NOTHING at all will do. (I’m sorry, honey!)
(Author’s note three: Those who know me are fully aware of the process. When I’m with a new group, that doesn’t include one of my inner circle, I try to plan ahead – preparing myself and them for any unforeseen close calls.) In fact, I once had a boss who carried packets of nuts into meetings. Not for her. For me. Sigh again…
So, I get some food. Maybe it’s a full meal, maybe it’s just a snack, but I’ve regulated the spike, and I’m as happy as a clam, back to my sweet self, and am forced to face the wake of destruction I may have just left in my path. (I’m SO sorry, honey!)
Which brings us to another word that is not in the dictionary: HANXIETY
Let me define it for you:
Yep, that’s also a thing.
Perhaps it explains the lovely soap dispenser my sister bought me.
(I’m sorry, sister!)
One more thing I recently learned. It just might be hereditary.
In chatting with Jasmine’s boyfriend last weekend (as a reminder, that’s my daughter’s code name in my blogs – don’t tell her I told you) we were teasing her about something, and he said “She gets like that sometimes when she’s hungry.” GULP.
(I’m sorry, Jasmine. And David.)
Happy Memorial Day Weekend, everyone! I hope yours is filled with fun, relaxation, family, friends … and food!
You Heard the Lady,